When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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