Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
