i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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