is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
