hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
