Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
