If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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