We need to rekindle our bromance
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I will pee on everything he values.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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