Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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