..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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