Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
