I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just gift wrapped bread.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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