Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
