My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just puked most of my soul out..
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