Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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