You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
