Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
