she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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