I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm always down for nudity.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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