I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
