I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
