So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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