We're facebook friends in real life
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
