TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
