my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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