During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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