yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
