Duck Duck Cougar?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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