i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
