i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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