like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
