How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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