this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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