After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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