If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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