Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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