Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize