she pinky promised me she was 18
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize