he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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