he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
