thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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