New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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