Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
