walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
