he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
