every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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