I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
