im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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