Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
