Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
