it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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