he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
