Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
