Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
