im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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