just come out here and I will go home with you...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
pop tarts are not kleenex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
